Making Friends As An Adult Is Hard A Licensed Therapist Shares How To Do It And Make It Last

In the rush of deadlines and meetings, kindness can often be overlooked. However, research shows that workplace kindness is crucial for employee well-being. Regular acts of kindness enhance morale, reduce stress, and foster collaboration and productivity. Here are five ways kindness can improve well-being at work. While many factors distort our social perception, we can learn to recognize our biases, question our assumptions, and adopt a more positive outlook on the social world.

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Building deep connections with others takes time, effort, and a willingness to be open and authentic. A culture of care is rooted in building strong relationships and creating a space where everyone takes responsibility for looking out for one another, including themselves. This kind of connection doesn’t just happen because you’re a nice teacher; it’s intentional. It’s built through small, consistent habits that strengthen bonds and help students feel genuinely connected and supported. Connection is incredibly powerful because it helps us build trust and strengthen our relationships with one another.

That can make it feel like there’s zero time to connect with people. If you feel like you can’t keep your time organized, rely on your calendar to help out. If you feel like the other person isn’t asking you about yourself, they may just be distracted. Don’t be afraid to offer information about yourself and share your stories, too. If the person keeps changing the subject back to themselves, though, they probably aren’t a good connection to have. Pretending to be someone you aren’t can lead your relationships to be built on lies and cause confusion in the future.

• To form meaningful connections, be true to yourself and open.
• What fundamental emotional needs do friendships fulfill that other relationships—like romantic or familial—might not?
• It’s totally okay to keep conversations light and casual.
• And when we help students speak to themselves with compassion, even when they make mistakes, we’re also helping them develop a growth mindset.
• Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to open up about their experiences and perspectives.

Nearly half felt isolated from others and their relationship with others was not meaningful. More than a third felt other people do not respect their skills and abilities. In 2012, a Harvard Business Review survey found that half of the CEOs experienced feelings of loneliness.

If cooking or reading is your passion, seek out clubs where you can connect with like-minded individuals. The idea is to build an aura of authenticity about yourself that will then attract others who “get” you. It’s impossible to simply close off one aspect of yourself and experience others.

While it’s natural to have differences, finding shared values can strengthen a relationship. These mutual principles can act as a foundation, encouraging trust and mutual respect between parties. My husband Dave can make friends and connections very easily. I often tease him that the moment he talks to someone new he gets invited on a sports trip of some kind with them.

By being the one to go first, you create an environment where trust, openness, and true connection can flourish. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and trying to understand their feelings and perspectives can create a profound bond. This is especially important for building connections with people from different backgrounds.

The ability to connect with each other is being lost, argue the co-founders of The Beautiful Truth, Adam Penny and Elizabeth Smith. But rediscovering it could be the key to finding more meaning in our lives, our work and our civilisations. Ever hesitated to text an old friend, thank someone, or offer help because you weren’t sure how it would be received? Most of us don’t realize how much these small acts of connection mean to others. If we did, we’d probably reach out a lot more often.

If we want to cultivate a healthier, more fulfilling social life, we need to start questioning—and pushing back against—some of these norms. If you’re a healthcare student, instead of just saying, “I’m looking for a job,” you could ask, “What are your thoughts on the impact of the new administration on Medicaid? ” The goal is to come prepared with a topic that’s relevant but not transactional, something that sparks genuine engagement rather than just a job request. Knowing ourselves better helps us handle our emotions and reactions.

But remember that Kardas’ research participants who engaged in both shallow and deep conversations preferred the deep ones, even though they were a little uncomfortable. Most people want to have deeper conversations than they typically do, so the odds are good that your conversational partner will be willing to move beyond small talk. Also, expect your conversational partner to enjoy talking to you. A 2018 study found that people tend to underestimate how much their conversational partner likes them and enjoys their company (a cognitive distortion researchers call the “liking gap”). For over 50 years, we’ve used innovative, personalized approaches to heal trauma, break cycles of harm, and reshape futures. We believe every child is worth it — and every family matters.

Seven Tips For Better Relationship Conversations

Several societal trends have impacted our ability to connect authentically, and they are well known. For those struggling with persistent feelings of loneliness or social isolation, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial. Therapists and counselors can provide support, guidance, and strategies for improving social skills and building connections.

Life gets busy, making it hard to keep up with friends. But, the joy of having friends makes it worth the effort. It’s also good to reach out to old friends to rebuild your social network. Catching up with former classmates, colleagues, or others can revive old friendships. By focusing on your current friendships and being open to new ones, you can beat the challenges. This way, you can enrich your life and well-being.

At Fig Holistic Psychotherapy based in Charlotte, North Carolina we specialize in anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, and even friendship therapy to help you live a full, connected and vibrant life. Reach out to us today to schedule a free 15 minute phone consult to learn more about therapy at Fig and if you could benefit from our holistic care. For example, with someone you just met—since you don’t have any history—you may need to take a little more time to get to know them, build trust, and feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable. So be understanding if they need a little more time to feel ready to open up. Dr. Kirmayer suggests listening for when the other person shares something deeper about themselves and thinking about if there is something related that you can connect on.

When it came to my classmates, there wasn’t much connection outside of my personal friendships. And when those friendships were struggling, I found myself disengaged from learning altogether. How does our attachment style—whether secure, anxious, or avoidant—impact the way we form and maintain friendships as adults? Attachment styles significantly shape our adult friendships. Those with secure attachment typically form balanced friendships with healthy boundaries, express needs directly, recover well from conflicts, and maintain consistent connections without dependency.

To my surprise, my most challenging student couldn’t wait to give me a hug, and he’d squeeze me so tight! Believe it or not, from that moment on, he never gave me any more trouble. Every morning, he’d try to be the first in line for that hug. And I realized that was all he needed—a moment of connection, a moment of love. Erin Pash is a pioneering mental health thought leader who translates complex psychological concepts into actionable insights that bridge clinical practice with everyday wellbeing. As a licensed therapist, author, and speaker, she advocates for progressive approaches to mental healthcare that emphasize accessibility, destigmatization, and whole-person wellness.

Apartment building common areas – Shared laundry rooms, mail areas, and elevators create regular touchpoints for orchidromancereview.com/customer-service-and-contacts/ conversation. + Parent pickup zones – Schools, dance classes, sports practices where parents wait create natural communities with shared experiences. Maybe connection has felt like more of a burden for you than a joy because you grew up in spaces where you felt like you couldn’t be your true self. Connection likely was focused more on making people happy and being who they needed you to be as opposed to getting to enjoy connecting around your true desires and passions. Prioritizing healthy communication, understanding each other’s perspectives, and finding mutually beneficial solutions can strengthen relationships and prevent them from breaking down.

Find the guidance you need to strengthen your communication skills and build your confidence. Before you know it, you’ll be making connections with people everywhere you go. Unfortunately, not everyone is excited to start making new connections. It can be awkward and uncomfortable at first, especially if you suffer from social anxiety. Once you become comfortable being uncomfortable, you can learn how to connect with people too.

They reduce anxiety and boost confidence in social situations. Learning to be kind to yourself helps you face new challenges. Don’t confuse “meaningful” with “oversharing,” but try opening up first. This can invite the other person to show up a little more honestly as well. Put down your phone and make eye contact when you talk to someone.

Good communication can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen relationships. Don’t use your time with friends to complain and be sure to put your phone away. Be the one who makes the plans every once in a while and invites others. If that still scares you too, here are a few easy ways to get started.

Ask them to a 90’s sitcom trivia night at a microbrewery. Order the thai in for lunch next week at the office, plan to sit next to the same mom at the next baseball game. Let it build organically with a little added boost of intentionality.

Generous attention is rare these days and can be incredibly powerful. People remember when they felt truly listened to and seen. 💙 Take a moment for A Purposeful Pause with Jay Shetty before you head into an interaction. Repeating similar language and words back to them shows that you’ve heard their words and you’re echoing them in your response.

Meeting someone in person is important for real friendships. By being careful, we can enjoy social media without losing touch with the world around us. Good listening is the heart of any strong friendship.

This finding has been replicated in different settings and cities, and it holds for both extraverts and introverts. Help us continue to bring “the science of a meaningful life” to you and to millions around the globe. Doing things together fosters camaraderie and connection. Active listening demonstrates respect and fosters deeper understanding. Ask thoughtful questions that show genuine interest in others’ experiences.

Meeting people face-to-face is key to forming strong bonds. If you’re currently feeling like your conversations are stuck on autopilot, you’re not alone. A lot of us fall victim to scripted and surface-level talks. But there are simple ways to make our interactions more meaningful without having to bare our souls. If you’re trying to build a connection with a new friend, you may be tempted to reach out to someone with lots of compliments.

So it might be a good time to remind us all that good friendships don’t happen on accident anymore. We may interact with family and coworkers for the better part of our day, but when it comes to spending any time in creative connections and communities, we have to be intentional. It’s easy to push aside our creative longings in favor of tending to the more practical side of life. In the most hyper-connected era we’ve ever experienced, where we can communicate instantly with anyone, anywhere, loneliness feels like a cruel irony. How can I start building more meaningful connections?

These relationships have become a source of strength, joy, and inspiration in my life. They’ve taught me the importance of vulnerability, empathy, and authenticity in creating lasting bonds. Building meaningful connections has transformed my relationships, and I now approach each interaction with the intention to connect on a deeper level. When I was in school, my favorite teachers were the ones who built relationships with me or shared stories about their own lives. It helped me feel connected to them, like they were inviting me into their world.